2026 predictions bingo

formal war declaration by or targeting US

I specify "formal declaration" because otherwise the operation in Venezuela would arguably already fulfill "USA goes to war"

crunchy mom health trend gets kids sent to the ER

"crunchy mom" = woowoo antivax crystal healer type shit. antivax on its own doesn't count bc that's already been happening. I'm thinking raw milk or something

Department of Education killed

gutting it save for a few functions that can't be pawned off would also count, imo, especially if combined with renaming it

crab rave-worthy death (bonus if it's Mitch)

I originally wrote "Kissinger-tier" but we JUST got Dick Cheney so I dialed it back

Trump has a major medical episode

based on credible reporting. his (or his administration's) confirmation is not a criterion because he won't admit it when it happens

AI Superbowl ad

perhaps not entirely genAI, but the AI use is blatant and/or substantial enough that it causes a stir

Dems sweep midterms, proceed to do fuck all with it

merely blocking/undoing a handful of key egregious policies will constitute "fuck all"

US government leak (bonus if Epstein-related)

as in actual documents are released without clearance, not someone anonymously saying shit to the press

AI bubble bursts

any significant recession/stock market tanking centered on the AI industry counts, even if companies continue to push it. it will probably be framed as "market correction"

record-breaking lotto jackpot

the jackpot rises to a record number, irrespective of if it is won or claimed this year

new state attempts to enter NPVIC

not counting Arizona because that session was held before I thought of this one let alone posted this prediction, otherwise it would count

Green Day plays American Idiot at Superbowl

because if they don't that would be insane

FREE SPACE: it fucking sucks

(this would have been the free space even before seeing what January had in store, I promise)

domestic terrorism/political violence (bonus if July 4th)

citizen-on-citizen, no government personnel (otherwise ICE already fulfills this). I mention July 4th bc it's the 250th anniversary so someone might pick that date

USA leaves NATO

either voluntarily or they are kicked out. an invasion of a NATO member/attempt to seize a member's territory, in my mind, constitutes leaving NATO even if for some reason the US is allowed to remain despite doing so

AI music hits Billboard Hot 100

a majority of the composition/instrumentation is made by AI; merely using AI to alter music that was initially made by humans will not count

global temp breaches 1.5C threshold

as in the overall global temperature for 2026 is 1.5C above pre-industrial levels (this happened a few years ago as well)

midterm campaign spending breaks records

specifically midterm spending records. it will not break presidential campaign spending records

GTA VI delayed again

as of writing this, it's supposed to be November 19th.

confirmed domestic polio case

"domestic" in this case means not attributable to travel

ICE agent dies, urelated to protests but admin calls it terrorism anyway

any cause of death short of physical injury by a target and/or protestor is "unrelated". if another one of those idiots dies of a heart attack while chasing a guy, it's unrelated.

tiktok thinks the rapture is coming (again)

not just a few crackpots, but enough people that i have to hear about it again.

"microplastics cause autism"

any form of someone publicly making this specific claim, or suggesting it as a possibility, will count

someone decks JD Vance

this one is just pure hopefulness

assassination attempt

it has to be a political figure -- a charlie kirk-type incident goes under "political violence" instead. this one is not specific to the US

i'm planning on updating this post as things happen, along with the event that fulfilled them and the date. if you disagree with a decision, argue with the wall idk